My Ex Won't Agree to Christmas Arrangements – What Can I Do?

Christmas is often described as the most wonderful time of the year, but for separated parents, it can also be one of the most stressful.

Deciding where the children will spend Christmas Day, who will have them on Christmas Eve and how the festive period will be shared can be difficult, particularly when parents have different expectations.

At Harrington Family Law, we understand how important Christmas is for families and how upsetting it can be when you cannot agree on arrangements for your children.

So what happens if your ex-partner refuses to agree to Christmas arrangements, and what can you do?

Does My Ex Have to Share Christmas Day With Me?

One of the most common questions we are asked is whether both parents are entitled to spend time with their children on Christmas Day.

The simple answer is that there is no automatic legal entitlement for either parent to have the children on Christmas Day.

Unless there is a court order setting out specific arrangements, it is generally for parents to agree how their children will spend the festive period.

Some families choose to alternate Christmas Day each year, while others divide the day between both households. Alternatively, one parent may have the children on Christmas Day, with the other spending Boxing Day with them.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach. What works for one family may not work for another.

The most important consideration should always be what is in the children's best interests.

What if My Ex Refuses to Agree to Christmas Arrangements?

If your ex-partner is refusing to discuss Christmas arrangements or you cannot reach an agreement, it can be incredibly frustrating.

However, there are steps you can take to try to resolve matters.

1. Try to Reach an Agreement

Where possible, we would always encourage parents to try to agree arrangements between themselves.

It may be helpful to put forward a clear proposal setting out when you would like to spend time with the children and how you intend to manage the practical arrangements.

Try to remain flexible and consider whether there is a compromise that would allow the children to enjoy meaningful time with both parents.

2. Consider Mediation

If you cannot agree directly, mediation may be an option.

A family mediator can help you and your ex-partner discuss the arrangements and explore possible solutions without the need for court proceedings.

However, mediation is not appropriate in every case, particularly where there are concerns about domestic abuse or safeguarding.

3. Seek Legal Advice

If discussions are not progressing, a family law solicitor can help you understand your options.

Sometimes, receiving a letter from a solicitor setting out a reasonable proposal can help move matters forward.

If an agreement still cannot be reached, it may be necessary to consider making an application to the Family Court.

What if We Already Have a Child Arrangements Order?

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order in place, the first step is to check what it says about Christmas and other special occasions.

Some orders specifically provide for Christmas arrangements, while others only deal with the children's usual weekly routine.

If your order sets out arrangements for Christmas, both parents are expected to comply with those arrangements unless they agree otherwise or the court changes the order.

If your ex-partner refuses to follow the order, you may be able to apply to the court to enforce it.

However, not every disagreement will justify enforcement proceedings, and the court will consider the circumstances, including whether there is a reasonable explanation for the order not being followed.

If your existing order does not address Christmas, you may need to consider whether it would be appropriate to seek a variation to include arrangements for special occasions.

Can I Apply to Court for Christmas Contact?

Yes. If you cannot reach an agreement, you may be able to apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order.

The court can determine when a child should spend time with each parent, including arrangements for Christmas and other holidays.

When making its decision, the court's paramount consideration will be the child's welfare.

The court may consider matters such as:

• The child's age and individual needs.
• Their existing relationship with each parent.
• The arrangements that have previously been in place.
• The practicalities of travelling between households.
• The child's wishes and feelings, taking into account their age and understanding.
• Any relevant safeguarding concerns.

It is important to remember that the court is not there to decide which parent deserves Christmas Day. Its role is to determine what arrangements are in the child's best interests.

Before making most applications concerning child arrangements, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), unless an exemption applies.

Is It Too Late to Apply to Court Before Christmas?

This is why we always encourage parents to start discussing Christmas arrangements as early as possible.

Family Court proceedings can take time, and there is no guarantee that an application made shortly before Christmas will be heard or determined before the festive period.

Although urgent applications can be made in certain circumstances, a disagreement about Christmas arrangements will not automatically be considered urgent by the court.

If you are concerned that you will not be able to agree arrangements, seeking legal advice sooner rather than later can help you understand the options available.

Can I Stop My Ex Taking the Children Away Over Christmas?

This will depend on the circumstances, including whether the proposed trip is within England and Wales or abroad, who has parental responsibility and whether there are any existing court orders.

If your ex-partner intends to take the children abroad without the necessary consent, you may need to seek legal advice urgently.

In certain circumstances, it may be appropriate to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent a parent from taking a particular action.

However, the position will depend on the individual circumstances, and it is important to obtain advice before taking any steps.

Our Advice to Separated Parents This Christmas

We appreciate that Christmas can be an emotional time, particularly if this is your first Christmas following separation.

It is understandable that both parents may want to spend Christmas Day with their children.

However, it is important to remember that Christmas should be an enjoyable experience for the children, rather than a source of conflict.

Where possible, we would encourage parents to make arrangements early, communicate clearly and remain open to compromise.

It is also worth considering how arrangements will work in future years. Agreeing a pattern for Christmas and other special occasions can help avoid the same disagreements arising year after year.

Ultimately, the focus should remain on ensuring that the children can enjoy Christmas without feeling caught in the middle of a disagreement between their parents.

Need Help Agreeing Christmas Child Arrangements?

If you are struggling to agree Christmas arrangements with your ex-partner, you do not have to navigate the situation alone.

At Harrington Family Law, our experienced family law team can help you understand your rights, explore your options and work towards arrangements that are in your children's best interests.

Whether you need assistance negotiating arrangements, reviewing an existing Child Arrangements Order or making an application to court, we are here to help.

Contact Harrington Family Law today to discuss your circumstances and find out how we can help you move forward.

Disclaimer: This article provides general information about family law in England and Wales and should not be treated as legal advice. Every family's circumstances are different, and we recommend seeking independent legal advice about your individual situation.