For those smarting at the lack of any spousal recognition of that happiest of couple days, Valentine’s Day, this is a question might be playing on the mind today. Is it an example of Unreasonable Behaviour?
Convincing the court in England and Wales to grant a decree of Divorce is dependent upon the court being convinced that the marriage has broken down irretrievably (Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, s1(1). To prove that it has broken down irretrievably, the Petitioner must prove one or more of five facts (Adultery, Unreasonable Behaviour, Separation for two years with consent, Separation for five years, or desertion); in order to obtain a divorce without waiting for two years from separation there has to be an allegation of fault on the part of one of the couple.So if you forgot to send a Valentine’s card, failed to book the dinner table, ran out of money for the flowers or ate the chocolates before they were handed over, can you expect a petition for divorce through the letter box before you can say “spousal maintenance?” Well, yes and no is the short answer.Of course, a single (or even multiple) instance of forgetfulness or incompetence is insufficient for a divorce petition, and indeed there are many marriages which don’t need any such external displays of affection. Many people scoff at the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day, and feel completely secure in the knowledge that their spouse knows that they are loved and appreciated.However, clients sometimes point to the lack of recognition of important days such as birthdays and Valentines Day, as an indication that the relationship has failed, and that their spouse no longer has any desire to affirm the marriage. They feel taken for granted, unloved, and unattractive, and that the husband/wife’s lack of interest in celebrating the relationship indicates a lack of interest in the marriage. This kind of thinking is damaging, and unless the husband/wife shows affection and appreciation in other ways the hurt suffered can lead to a breakdown of the relationship for the long term. So whilst it is not the lack of a £2 card which causes the divorce, it is the message behind the omission (sometimes completely unintended) which starts the rot leading to the decline, and a “failure to show love and affection” to the spouse is often cited as an example of unreasonable behaviour in a divorce petition.It is a small act, to send a card, or buy some flowers, but the implications of not doing so can be profound. So if you forgot, it’s not too late, and in any case, better late than never!